UNcomfortable

I’ve had this ringing in my ears my whole entire life that “I just want to feel settled.”  That has meant different things during varying phases of my life.  As a child it meant that I wanted to be in a family that wasn’t so full of pain and heart ache.  I wanted a “normal” childhood where I could trade my fear and anxiety for fun and security. As a teen it meant that I wanted to feel loved unconditionally, and I would accept that from whoever would give it to me.  As college age girl it meant that I wanted to get married and live a nice, simple, peaceful, stable life with my husband and children.  As a grown woman, it has progressed even more into a deep rooted lie that Satan tries to daily whisper in my ear. He whispers, “seek comfort, comfort, comfort,” and then the seeds of my discontent start growing into bitterness and despair.

I remember telling my husband after we accepted our first ministry position in WI, “I don’t want to move from here until our kids are grown.  I want to plant our roots and STAY!” I’m not sure if you can resonate with what I’m saying, but it was this unexplainable longing in my heart to be comfortable.
I wanted the comfort of long term friendships for myself and my children.  I wanted the comfort of living in my dream house. I wanted the comfort of a stable job.  I wanted the comfort of… a predictable life. 

God must laugh at His children sometimes at our foolish ways of thinking.  Or does He cry? I hope he laughs because in my mind we need to stop taking life so seriously.  I guess there’s a reason He always calls us “sheep” in the Bible.  Is that God’s way of telling us we’re all stupid?  Well, it’s at least fun to think about.  I like to imagine the God I serve with a smile on His face and not a frown.  How do you imagine your Father?  It might say a lot about your view of grace if He always carries ‘The Frown of Condemnation.’

Today, I’m keeping my thoughts simple.  I just want you to hear from my heart to yours that maybe you need to get off your fanny and start getting a little more UNcomfortable in your life.
Stop making the safe choices. Step out in faith and talk to that neighbor you’ve been avoiding. Call that friend that is going through hardship and take them to coffee (don’t worry about what to say…just listen and pray). Make the call and get yourself in counseling if you’ve been avoiding it. Reach out to that friend you’ve hurt and say sorry. Take a hard look at your life and ask yourself if there any areas you are holding back from God. Stop counting yourself out in life, and quit being the victim. Serve in your local church and stop making stupid excuses.  Get the idea? 

For us in recent days it has meant my husband leaving the pastorate and totally going back to the LORD asking “How can I thrive and serve You best?” For me at has meant taking off the comfortable “stay at home mom” hat and being the bread winner for a while. FREAKY STUFF, MAN!!!  I’m not going to tell you getting UNcomfortable has been easy on us. Frankly, so far most days feel really crappy.  At the same time I have never felt so dependent on God in my entire life…and that, my friend, is an AWESOME feeling.

So, I leave you with this prayer that has been my prayer in recent days. 

“Father, I confess to you that I have placed comfort as an idol in my life. Forgive me for trying to be the conductor in the orchestra of my life. Lord, I ask you for help. I confess my fear to you.  I confess that the ‘unknown or unpredictable’ look like a ravenous lion in my heart that wants to devour me. God, I want to follow you with no strings attached. I want to be bold for you and make choices in my life that will leave those in my path curious. I release control to you, Jesus, and ask you to help me find my COMFORT in YOU.”

How will YOU start getting UNcomfortable today?